Flat Facts

Facts About Flats

Flats are an inevitable part of our lives as cyclists.

They suck.

There are three main types of flats:

1. The ‘Puncture’: Usually produced by a foreign object penetrating the outer tire casing and poking a hole into the weaker, softer inner tube. Punctures are the result of a society that just refuses to dispose of it’s staples, needles, nails, pins and toothpicks properly.

2. The ‘Pinch’: A ‘Pinch Flat’ occurs when the rider was either A: Too lazy or B: Too busy to either A: Fill their tires to the proper PSI or B: Avoid that really nasty hole in the ground. AKA: The Snakebite

3. The ‘What The Hell?’: Brand new tire. Brand new tube. No foreign object. Proper PSI. No pothole. We all get them at one time or another.

No matter how good you are at changing a tire, when you’re on a group ride, you can never change it fast enough.

If you’re not carrying it with you, you’re going to need it.

If you’re carrying it with you, you’re going to need it.

Don’t assume the other guy brought what you should be carrying.

The Essentials:

1. Seat Bag (To Put Following Items Into)

2. Tire Levers (2)

3. CO2 Inflator (1) and Canister (2)

4. Rear Light 

5. A Tube

6. Cash Money (For The Honeys) 

7. Inner Peace At Having Identified That It Probably Will Happen

Check the tire before putting it back on.

Check the rim before putting it back on.

Check the tube to make sure it’s not caught.

Check everything.


Keep a positive attitude. It’s a flat. Most likely you’re not missing skin or have broken anything. Take this time to discuss important things with your riding mates, such as WW2 Documentaries and whether or not that seatpost clamp is too tight.

And finally, if you mention that it’s been however long since your last flat, you will flat. That day. Because that’s just how the universe rolls.

Ride safe, ya’ll.

– MM


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