Why Bikes are better than Girls

Brian Crosby and I used to play a game. The rules were unspoken but simple, and it started whenever the first would make a go at it.

‘Why bikes are better than Girls.’

We could go for hours, save a few pauses in between for the occasional outside topic. Reasons included:

  • Ladies make you fat due to eating out/dates – The Bike makes you skinny
  • Ladies make you lazy and complacent with love and affection – The Bike gives you no quarter and keeps you sharp
  • Ladies have their own schedule – The Bike is ready whenever you are
  • Ladies are an enigma – The Bike is fairly simple 

And so forth.

It’s not so much that we needed reasons to be out on the bicycle, most of our game took place while in the saddle. Nay, I think perhaps our game was a sign that perhaps all was not right with our endeavors. We were attempting to justify our actions.

You see, we’re addicts.

The list of what I’ve given up to further my commitment to the bike is long and occasionally cringe worthy. As Adam Myerson pointed out in his letter to his new/old teammates, the bicycle requires a commitment which far surpasses hobby and is firmly embedded in the territory of lifestyle. Money, jobs, time, relationships and more are all slowly overtaken by the bike. The amount of dedication varies from individual – there is more to life than just riding – but the pull is strong. The commitment it takes just to race at a category five level would be considered absurd by most ‘sane’ and ‘normal’ individuals. Any ride longer than 25 miles and you’ll be sure to raise an eyebrow or two of your neighbors. Still, we persist and fall headlong into our addiction. We scrape together money for lighter and lighter components. Things called ‘King’ and ‘Super Record’ begin to zap our coffers dry. We forgo evenings out for the opporotunity to obtain more of the ever elusive recovery. Large swaths of us disappear for entire weekends. It’s insanity.


Have you ever laid awake in bed at night, unable to go to asleep because you’re *that* excited about the next day’s 20, 50 or 100 miles? Have you ever gotten back from that day and lay your head down to the best sleep that you’ve ever had? Not a turn, not a toss – just restful bliss. If nothing else, that will be enough to keep me in the saddle.

Just another reason why bikes are better than girls.

Your turn, Brian Crosby.

Ladies – This most certainly goes the other way around. My own has informed me that there are perhaps *more* reasons as to why the bicycle is better than your male counterparts. Feel free to rip into our egos with wild abandon. -MM

  1. When you can change the “than” to “with”, you’re on to something.

    • Aaron Smith said:

      True. We used to play this before I became one of those lucky few. I’m out and my lady’s not only still going on group rides – but progressively harder and longer ones.

      It’s important to find a significant other than enjoys suffering as much as you do.

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